On the idea of "bliss"

It's impossible to decide what to write right now because it's impossible to decipher my stream of consciousness. I know how I feel, and I know how I think; I've gone through many trials in life and my heart is filled with trepidation about the uncertainty of what the future holds for me. I'm fine with that though, because after feeling empty for so long; I never let go.

There's a particular route of thinking one must undergo to literally sacrifice an entire lifetime of clarity for one of ambiguity. I'm talking, of course, about the life I've lived for the past few years. Once, a long time ago, I made a mistake. And for so long, I sought to rectify that which I destroyed, thinking it was the right thing to do. There was never, ever a day that went by that I didn't wish I could go back in time and change the past, thinking that everything would have worked out how I would have wanted it to.

However, as I have had years to reflect upon it now; things always seem to work out the way I want them. Literally: what I want, I get. It's just how it works. I'm confident, and self-assured to the point that I make sure I obtain my aspirations; and that's why I never gave up, no matter how grim the outcome looked.

Emotions are terribly tricky; but, I'm willing to bet that if you can play your cards right and keep bluffing, you'll make it through. I did, and I don't think I'll ever be happier than I am right now. This feeling: nothing compares to it. It's a euphoric state of awareness. Carnal bliss, lustfully beckoning me. If this feeling ever goes away, which it won't, it's here to stay, I think my mind may degrade to nothingness. If that day ever come, kill me. Until then, I'll live out my life happier than I've ever been, this feeling making me more happy with every passing day.